On Illegal Immigration and Pretend Compassion

It started when one of my friends on Facebook posted this meme:

Trump immigration meme

One of our mutual friends responded:

Mutual friend: For anyone with children, grandchildren, nephew, nieces or any understanding of the damage separating a child from their parents can do would not find this funny at all.

Did you get that?  If you think this meme is funny, you must be a horrible person!  Well, I just couldn’t let that stand, so I responded, too.

Me: What’s hilarious is the complete and utter hypocrisy displayed by the left. I have seen the exact same people blame Trump for separating families and make excuses for the illegal immigrant who was a multiple time felon and stole a gun, shot, and killed a young woman, thus separating her from her family.…/man-at-center-of-sanctuary-city…/

A little background on this case, for those who might be unfamiliar with it: Jose Ines Garcia Zarate is an illegal immigrant who has been deported five times, and is a felon at least four times over.  He stole a gun from a federal agent,  and it was with this gun that he shot Kate Steinle.  I saw people on Facebook making all kinds of excuses for him, and when he was acquitted, the left celebrated the verdict.  His lawyer even had the nerve to say “I believe today is a day of vindication for the rest of immigrants.”

Back to my Facebook conversation:

Mutual Friend: this post is below us all.

Nice side-step of the argument, there.  Points for continuing the ad hominem.

Me: Guilt trips don’t work on me. After seeing how the left celebrated Jose Zarate’s acquittal, I don’t believe for one second any of them have the compassion they claim to have. Use facts instead of emotion and guilt trips to make your point.

Mutual Friend: get a life.

The one who claims to be more compassionate than the rest of us responded with an uncaring and rude non sequitur.  There were a lot of things I wanted to say in response, but I settled with:

Me: See what I mean? Pretend compassion. Thank you for proving my point.

The best part?  This mutual friend is the husband of one of my church leaders when I was a youth.  I’d looked up to this man.  And it hurt to be treated that way by him.  It shows that, to a certain mindset, the party line is more important than preexisting relationships.

Illegal immigration is a complicated problem.  It’s been a problem for decades.  Politicians have made it worse by repeatedly passing the buck.  I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I refuse to be lectured by self-righteous hypocrites.



Plague Inc: A Review

The 47 best iPhone games - CNET

I’ve played this game on and off for a few years, and it is seriously addicting.  Basically, you create a plague, and you have to infect and kill the whole world.

A completely harmless and cathartic hobby.

You choose the country you start in, and then it starts to spread.  The more people and countries you infect, the more points you earn.  You use these points to evolve your disease.  You can add vectors for infection, symptoms of the disease, and other traits such as drug resistance.  So, you control your disease and its spread indirectly.

This game is a bit of a time suck, since you spend a lot of time waiting for your disease to spread.  But it is oh so satisfying to watch the world slowly turn red as you infect more and more countries.

There are three settings: casual, which is pretty easy, normal, which is pretty hard, and brutal, which I’m guessing is pretty much impossible to beat.

You see, after awhile the world notices your disease and starts to work on a cure.  So the challenge is to avoid detection until you’ve infected most of the world.  Then you need to make your disease lethal enough quickly enough after detection to kill everyone before your disease is cured, but not so quickly that you kill all your hosts before you infect the whole world.  This can be pretty challenging, which of course makes it all the more satisfying when you win.

In the free version, which I have, you start with bacteria, and have to beat the game on at least the normal setting before you can get virus, then fungus, etc.  For $14.99 you get the “premium version” with all the plague types, scenarios, and some other bells and whistles.  Kinda pricey for a smartphone game, if you ask me, so I’ll stick with free.  (You can also buy things piece meal, but that also doesn’t seem worth it.)

It’s also listed on CNET’s 50 best iPhone games.

Don’t take my word for it; try out Plague Inc yourself.

What are your favorite smartphone games?  Share in the comments below!


Kona Hawaii Temple


I was so excited to go to Hawaii with my husband and my parents last summer.  There were many fun and amazing experiences, but the greatest blessing was going to the temple.


The temple ordinances aren’t any different in Hawaii than they are at home, so you might wonder why it would be such a big deal to attend the temple in Hawaii when there are so many other things to do in Hawaii.

Well, I’ll tell you what the big deal is:


The temple ordinances are the same in Hawaii as the are at home.

That’s the beauty of the gospel.  No matter where you are, it is the same.  The temple and its ordinances are a physical reminder that the gospel is the same, because God is the same, and His love for us is unchanging.


Also, I’d never seen an LDS church that is pink and green.  This church building is in Hilo.


On Pyramid Schemes…I Mean…Home Businesses

It used to just be Tupperware, Pampered Chef, and Mary Kay.  Now there’s Lula Roe, Jamberry, Scentsy, It Works!, BeachBody, Cabi, doTerra, AdvoCare, and so many more.

A lot of my friends are selling these things on Facebook, and it does feel awkward sometimes.  Are you inviting me to the Facebook party because you really like this product and you think I would like it too, or are you trying to take advantage of our friendship to make a buck?

At first it bothered me to see my Facebook feed filled with what is essentially advertising rather than the accustomed baby, pet, food, and vacation photos.  If I friend you on Facebook, it’s because I want to see you and your life.  But I realize that if someone gets involved in a business from home, it probably does mean a lot to them.  So instead of allowing it to annoy me, I just keep scrolling.

Then I saw this meme on one of my friend’s Facebook feed.

that meme

Wow, that’s a lot of assumptions.

You’re assuming I’m happy to drop hundreds of dollars on something just because it’s being promoted by a celebrity, but I’m not willing to spend any money to support my friends.  I guess you think anyone who won’t buy from you is shallow and selfish.  It just so happens I shop at Target and Ross, I don’t upgrade my phone until I absolutely have to, and my car is literally the crappiest one in the lot at work.  I can not afford your overpriced luxury products.

Now, the majority of my friends are nothing like that.  They’ve found a product they like, are trying to live the dream, and are sharing it with their family and friends.  I have no problem with that.

I only have a problem with people who use our friendship to try to guilt trip me into buying overpriced luxury items I will never use.

Now, if you’re selling Usborne books, we can talk.

Related articles:

You Wanna Sell Me Something on Facebook?  I’m Cool With That on Huffpo

Don’t Let Your Facebook Friends Sell You a Pyramid Scheme on

Dear Facebook friends, please stop trying to sell me stuff.  It’s getting awkward on the Washington Post

Friends Don’t Guilt Friends Into Buying Momtrepreneur Crap on Facebook on

If You Stopped Learning After College, You’re Uneducated

It’s a common enough claim in online debates: “I majored in such-and-such….” and therefore their opinion matters more than yours.

First off, that is a logical fallacy known as appeal to authority.  A position of authority is no guarantee of the truthfulness of the claim.  But equally importantly, the longer ago your college years were, the less relevant your major is.  If you’ve been out of college for a few years (or a few decades, like the last person I heard this claim from), your opinion isn’t necessarily any more valid than that of someone who majored in something else.

The truth is, that if you ended your education when you received your college diploma, you are uneducated.  A college degree is not the be all end all of education.  There is a lot more than can be learned in four years.  The whole point of college isn’t to learn everything there is to know on a given subject.  The point of college is to gain a solid foundation in a subject and to learn how to learn.

I have learned far more since I graduated from college than I learned while in college.

There are so many options for continuing your education independently.  Reading books comes to mind.  There are numerous videos, podcasts, and websites dedicated to spreading knowledge on a vast array of subjects.  There’s really no excuse for ignorance.

Some of the things I have studied in since college are:

  • Pedagogy (especially language arts and STEAM)
  • Linguistics
  • Vocabulary
  • Politics
  • American history
  • History of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
  • Early Christian history
  • Ancient civilizations
  • Classics
  • Spanish
  • Music
  • Biology
  • Physics

In the future, I plan to continue to learn more history, from all parts of the world, read more classics, and learn more about various sciences.  I also hope to learn to play the piano, get better at sight reading music, and find the courage to try speaking Spanish to real people.

To study these topics, I read a lot, listen to educational podcasts on my commute, sing in my church choir, research topics that interest me, and play with educational apps on my phone.  One of my daily goals is to do a learning activity besides reading.

I’m not an expert in all the areas I’ve studied, but I can say with certainty that you don’t need a college degree in a subject in order to be educated in it.  If you do have a college degree in a subject, you have to continue to study it to really count yourself as knowledgeable.  If you don’t, people who do will soon pass you by.

Happy learning!


If You Can’t Find Kid’s Books with Strong, Female Protagonists, You Aren’t Looking Very Hard

Every now and them I come across posts claiming that there is a dearth of kids’ books with strong female protagonists.  This is absurd.  If anything, there is a glut of kids’ books with strong female protagonists.  And to prove it, I have put together this list.

This list is not meant to be exhaustive.  Rather, it is meant to be representative of how many options there are of quality books with strong female role models for young readers.  I have subdivided the list by genre for the convenience of the reader.  Books or series that are split between a male and female protagonist are marked with an asterisk (*).  The emphasis is on series, but there is also a section of stand-alone novels that I particularly recommend.  When books fall into multiple categories, I’ve chosen the one I think fits best.  Without further ado:

Picture Books

  • Madeline by Ludwig Bemelmans
  • Pinkalicious, by Victoria & Elizabeth Kann
  • Fancy Nancy, by Jane O’Connor
  • Eloise, by Kay Thompson
  • The Berenstain Bears*, by Stan and Jan Berenstain
  • Mouse books* by Kevin Henkes

Early Readers

  • Amelia Bedelia, by Peggy Parish
  • Annie and Snowball, by Cynthia Rylant


  • The Little House on the Prairie, by Laura Ingalls Wilder
  • Anne of Green Gables, by Lucy Maude Montgomery
  • Pippi Longstocking, by Astrid Lindgren
  • Mary Poppins, by P.L. Travers


  • Nancy Drew by Carolyn Keene
  • Cam Jansen, by David A. Adler
  • Trixie Belden, by Julie Campbell
  • The Boxcar Children*, by Gertrude Chandler Warner
  • The Happy Hollisters*, by Jerry West

Realistic Fiction

  • Ramona Quimby, by Beverly Cleary
  • Babysitter’s Club, by Ann M. Martin
  • Junie B. Jones, by Barbara Park
  • Judy Moody, by Megan McDonald
  • Amber Brown, by Paula Danziger
  • Billie B Brown, by Sally Rippin

Historical Fiction

  • American Girl, various authors
  • Dear America, various authors
  • Magic Tree House* (with fantasy elements), by Mary Pope Osburn


  • Tiffany Aching, by Terry Pratchett
  • His Dark Materials, by Phillip Pullman
  • Magic Tree House: Merlin Missions* (though some of these are also historical fiction), by Mary Pope Osburn
  • Animorphs*, by Katherine Applegate and Michael Grant
  • Chronicles of Narnia*, by C.S. Lewis

Stand Alone Novels

  • Harriet the Spy, by Louise Fitzhugh
  • Island of the Blue Dolphins, by Scott O’Dell
  • Number the Stars, by Lois Lowry
  • Because of Winn-Dixie, by Kate DiCamillo
  • Sarah, Plain and Tall, by Patricia MacLachlan
  • A Lion to Guard Us, by Clyde Robert Bulla
  • Running out of Time by Margaret Peterson Haddix
  • Matilda, by Roald Dahl
  • Ella Enchanted, by Gail Carson Levine
  • Charlotte’s Web*, by E.B. White
  • Bridge to Terabithia*, by Katherine Paterson

That should be enough to get you started.  There are many, many other series out there, I’m sure, and, as earlier noted, I only listed stand-alone novels that I personally enjoyed and would recommend.  By the way, I’d love to see your recommendations in the comments!


Judge Not, That Ye Be Not Judged

We are told all the time to “not judge” others.  President Uchtdorf gave a memorable address on the subject in general conference.  He said:

“This topic of judging others could actually be taught in a two-word sermon. When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following:

Stop it!”

He said a lot more than that, but I’ll come back to that in a bit.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where sin is becoming increasingly accepted and even popular.  Morality seems to be increasingly unpopular.  People who hold to morals that the world considers “old-fashioned” are often told to stop judging others for things like sexual immorality and immodest dress.  Just living by God’s laws and encouraging others to do so is enough to get labeled “judgmental.”

Matthew 7:1 gets thrown around a lot: “Judge not, that ye be not judged.”

That would seem to be pretty clear.  We’re not supposed to judge other people.  This is usually interpreted to mean that we should blithely let everyone else do their own thing.  “You do you” is a common saying.  But really, it gets more complicated than that.

Because, we are also commanded to be our brother’s keepers.

2 Chronicles 19:10 says: “…ye shall even warn them that they trespass not against the Lord, and so wrath come upon you, and upon your brethren: this do, and ye shall not trespass.”  It says right there that telling someone else to not break the commandments is not a trespass, i.e., sin.

D&C 81:88 says: “Behold, I sent you out to testify and warn the people, and it becometh every man who hath been warned to warn his neighbor.”

From Old Testament times to the latter days, God’s people have been charged with the responsibility of warning our neighbors against sin.  We have the fullness of the gospel.  It is our responsibility to share that fullness with others.  That includes telling others the right way to live. But how do we do that without telling them that what they are doing is wrong?  We can’t.  But isn’t that a type of judging?  The commandments to not judge and to warn our neighbors seem to contradict one another.  This is a question I have also struggled with.

But if you keep reading Matthew 7, past verse 1, you’ll find: “For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.”

So, however we judge others is the way we will be judged.  It sounds a lot like the golden rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

John 7:24 is also enlightening: “Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.”

By reading more of the scriptures, we can see that we aren’t really being told not to judge.  After all, we have to make judgments every day.  We choose what to wear, what to say, what to do, where to go, and plenty more.  A lot of those choices involve other people, such as how to respond when we know someone is doing something wrong or even wants us to do something we know is wrong.  The key is to respond with righteous judgment.  The next question, of course, is to figure out what exactly constitutes “righteous judgment.”

President Uchtdorf didn’t tell us to stop standing up for what is right.  That’s part of living the gospel.  He said to stop “hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm.”  Those things are clearly not in keeping with the gospel or the love of Christ.  Christ and his prophets have taught us to respond to others with love.

Love is the key.  President Uchtdorf explained:

“The more we allow the love of God to govern our minds and emotions—the more we allow our love for our Heavenly Father to swell within our hearts—the easier it is to love others with the pure love of Christ. As we open our hearts to the glowing dawn of the love of God, the darkness and cold of animosity and envy will eventually fade.

When our hearts are filled with the love of God, we become “kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving [each other], even as God for Christ’s sake [forgave us].”

I love how President Uchtdorf talks about allowing ourselves to feel the love of God.  If we don’t feel loved, it’s near impossible to show love.  I know this from personal experience.  When I feel depressed and down on myself, it’s hard to be kind to others.  I’m much more likely to snap at others and say unkind things when I feel unhappy and sorry for myself.  When I feel God’s love for me, and know I am a child of God, it’s much easier to extend that love to others.  In fact, I want to share that love with other people so they can feel it, too.

If we are truly disciples of Christ, we will be kind to one another.  If we really need to correct someone else, it needs to be from a place of love and kindness.  We need to help and uplift instead of condemn.  It’s easy to condemn.  It can be much harder to extend love and help.

I was on Facebook the other day, and I came across this post in my newsfeed.  It really touched me, and I immediately knew it was perfect for my talk today:

“A couple of women were walking around Temple Square this week and said something like, “I thought these gardens were supposed to be breathtaking.” I realized that they were in a part of the grounds that — while USUALLY overflowing with flowers and beautiful plants — is currently all torn up. They are visiting between seasons, when some planters are bare. (That stage doesn’t last long here, cuz the grounds crew is really on the ball. But it exists.)

These overheard comments and ensuing realization made me ask myself: Do I ever judge people based on a single snapshot of their lives — maybe at a time when they are “torn up” somehow — and wonder why they’re not more breathtaking? Or am I patient and willing to focus on the parts of their landscape that are thriving?

Do we forgive OURSELVES for needing time to replant? Or are we embarrassed by the times when our metaphoric planters are bare as we transition to new growth?

Sometimes it’s easy to understand the need for patience when we are working with soil and seeds. I hope we can have at least as much, and hopefully much more, patience as we work with fellow human beings. (Including ourselves!) We are each on a journey through many different seasons.”

This adds another dimension to the question of judging or warning our neighbors.  We don’t know everything that’s going on in someone else’s mind or in their life.  Someone could be going through a difficult experience or just be having a bad day, and we all have experiences like that.

For example, a few years ago, my grandma on my dad’s side passed away.  I took it really hard.  For the next three days at work, until my days off for bereavement, I was basically a zombie.  I struggled through the lessons I absolutely had to teach, and for pretty good sized chunks of each day for those three days I showed my students videos on Netflix while I huddled behind my computer, incapable of doing much else.

If anyone had been watching me for those three days and only those three days, and didn’t know the reason behind what I was doing, they probably would have come to the conclusion that I’m a terrible teacher who should be fired.  They wouldn’t have seen all the activities I normally do with my kids and how I’m on my feet almost all day, constantly active in their learning.  So, we shouldn’t judge how good someone else is at keeping the commandments when we only know a small part of their story.

On the flip side, it can also be pretty easy to appear the model Latter Day Saint for short periods of time.  Someone who only sees me for three hours a week might think I have it all together and totally have this living the gospel thing totally down.  It’s easy to measure ourselves against what we perceive of others and find ourselves wanting. (By the way, if anyone thinks this about me, thank you; it’s very flattering, and, you’re wrong.)

We also might think other people are judging us, when, really, they’re not.  If people don’t say hi and smile at us, for example, it’s easy to feel like we’re being excluded.  I’ll admit that a lot of times, if you’re older than 12, I forget to smile and say hi to people.  It’s not because I don’t like you, or am judging you; it’s just that I’m wrapped up in trying to remember all the things I need to get done that day and wondering if I’m good enough at any of them.  So, smile and say hi to me, and I’ll smile and say hi back.

We’re all in this together.

Luke 22:32 says, “…and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.”

If someone we know is struggling with keeping the commandments, let’s find ways to help them.  It’s not for us to judge their worthiness.  Our job is to help each other stay on the straight and narrow, through service and love.

The prophet Joseph Smith showed us many examples of service and love.  I would like to share a story from his life.  Mary Frost Adams wrote this account for the LDS magazine of the late 1880s, the Young Women’s Journal.  At the time, the saints were living in Nauvoo, and Joseph Smith was the mayor.

“While he was acting as mayor of the city, a colored man named Anthony was arrested for selling liquor on Sunday, contrary to law. He pleaded that the reason he had done so was that he might raise the money to purchase the liberty of a dear child held as a slave in a Southern State. He had been able to purchase the liberty of himself and his wife and now wished to bring his little child to their new home. Joseph said, ‘I am sorry, Anthony, but the law must be observed and we will have to impose a fine.’ The next day Brother Joseph presented Anthony with a fine horse, directing him to sell it, and use the money obtained for the purchase of the child.”

As mayor, Joseph had the responsibility to uphold the law.  Anthony broke the law, and the penalty was a fine.  So, Joseph upheld the law, by imposing the fine on Anthony.  This was justice.  But, Joseph didn’t just care about the law.  He cared about the people.  He knew that Anthony was struggling with an important issue of getting his child free from slavery.  He looked at the whole situation, and not just one incident.  Joseph showed compassion to Anthony by giving him the horse, to enable Anthony to both pay the fine and free his child.  This was mercy.

Joseph was following the example of the Savior, who suffered for our sins so that we wouldn’t have to.

We are unlikely to face a situation as extraordinary as Joseph and Anthony’s, but there are many other times when we have a choice between condemning someone and helping them.

For example, if we see parents struggling with their children who have a hard time being still and quiet in Sacrament, we can offer to sit with their kids and help them color.  If someone doesn’t want to come to church, we can offer them a ride.  If we are part of a conversation that starts leaning towards gossiping about someone, we can say something positive about that person instead.  Through actions like these, we encourage others to keep trying to do what is right.

I’d like to go back to President Uchtdorf’s talk, which was so beautiful and eloquent.  I quote:

“Brothers and sisters, there is enough heartache and sorrow in this life without our adding to it through our own stubbornness, bitterness, and resentment.

We are not perfect.

The people around us are not perfect. People do things that annoy, disappoint, and anger. In this mortal life it will always be that way.

Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things. That is the Lord’s way.

Remember, heaven is filled with those who have this in common: They are forgiven. And they forgive.

Lay your burden at the Savior’s feet. Let go of judgment. Allow Christ’s Atonement to change and heal your heart. Love one another. Forgive one another.

The merciful will obtain mercy.”

In closing, I would like to remind us of John 13:34, a scripture verse that has also become a beautiful song: “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.”