I often worry about whether or not I’m good enough. I know I mess up a lot. I’m not as patient as I should be, I act rudely to my husband, I don’t always keep the Sabbath holy, I forget it’s fast Sunday, and on and on. It’s really easy to put myself down as I think about all the ways I fall short.
That’s why my husband suggested I listen to this particular talk from the Saturday morning session of the October 2016 General Conference. It’s titled, “Am I Good Enough? Will I Make It?” from Elder J. Devn Cornish of the Seventy.
This talk was exactly the message I needed. In this talk Elder Cornish showed that he cares about and understands the feelings of the members as we try to do the right things but just can’t. If you have ever felt that discouragement, you should go read the whole talk. Here I’m going to give some of the highlights and my thoughts as well:
“Sometimes when we attend church, we become discouraged even by sincere invitations to improve ourselves. We think silently, ‘I can’t do all these things’ or ‘I will never be as good as all these people’…Please, my beloved brothers and sisters, we must stop comparing ourselves to others. We torture ourselves needlessly by competing and comparing. We falsely judge our self-worth by the things we do or don’t have and by the opinions of others.”
We sometimes compare ourselves to other members of our ward, believing that they are successfully doing all the things we feel we can’t. I think it’s also important to note that we don’t necessarily know what other members are struggling with. They may look like they are doing all the right things and that we can’t compare with them, but they make think the same about us.
Salvation isn’t a competition.
I also really struggle with the idea that I have inherent worth. I think of my worth as being dependent on my productivity. If I’m really smart or a great teacher or really good at keeping a family history, then I must be worthwhile. That’s what goes on in my head. Instead, I need to remember that my worth comes from being a daughter of God.
“If we must compare, let us compare how we were in the past to how we are today—and even to how we want to be in the future. The only opinion of us that matters is what our Heavenly Father thinks of us. Please sincerely ask Him what He thinks of you. He will love and correct but never discourage us; that is Satan’s trick.”
This one is so hard for me to remember. Discouraging thoughts about how I’ll never be good enough don’t come from Heavenly Father. Those come from Satan. Heavenly Father encourages us, rather than discouraging us.
Elder Cornish focuses on what direction we are facing, rather than on where we are. If we keep trying to be like Christ, then that is enough.
“Our Heavenly Father intends for us to make it!”
I really love that. Heavenly Father didn’t send us here with the intent that we would fail. Like every good teacher, He doesn’t set us up for failure.
“If we will sincerely repent, God really will forgive us, even when we have committed the same sin over and over again. As Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said: ‘However many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made …, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s Atonement shines.'”
“None of us will ever be ‘good enough,’ save through the merits and mercy of Jesus Christ, but because God respects our agency, we also cannot be saved without our trying. That is how the balance between grace and works works.“
I forget this sometimes. I don’t have to do it alone. It was never intended that I do it alone.
I’ve bookmarked this talk, because I think I’ll be going back to it again. I don’t always feel like conference talks are especially relevant to me, but this one feels like it was given directly to me, about the things I need to hear. I know that the church leaders are inspired by the Lord, and knowing that helps me keep going.
“For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” –2 Timothy 1:7